Have you ever been a backseat driver—or had one?
You’re driving along a familiar route when suddenly someone in the passenger seat shouts, “Turn here!” Maybe you’re startled, maybe grateful, or maybe frustrated that someone’s trying to take control of your driving.
Our emotions can act just like that backseat driver.
As counselors, we talk a lot about emotions—how to name them, understand them, and manage the difficult ones. Emotions are an essential part of being human, but sometimes we give them too much control. When our emotions sit in the driver’s seat, they can steer us into choices we later regret.
The key takeaway? Don’t let your emotions drive your decision-making car.
The Consequences of Emotion-Based Decisions
When emotions are in control, we can:
- Say or do things we don’t really mean
- React impulsively instead of thinking things through
- Blame others instead of taking responsibility
Sound familiar? We’ve all been there. In moments of anger or stress, it’s easy to lash out, make quick decisions, or shift blame. But when we pause and take back the wheel, we respond with clarity instead of reaction.
How to Keep Your Emotions in the Backseat
1. Notice what you’re feeling
Start by recognizing when your emotions are taking over. Pay attention to signals like frustration, anger, or tension. Naming the feeling helps you regain perspective.
2. Create space before reacting
If you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to step away. You might say, “Can you give me a few minutes?” or simply take a few deep breaths before responding. Slowing down gives your brain time to catch up with your emotions.
3. Communicate your needs clearly
When under pressure to decide, it’s okay to ask for time. Try saying, “I don’t think I have all the information I need yet—can I take a little more time to think this through?”
4. Take responsibility and repair
If you’ve reacted out of strong emotion, own it. A sincere apology or acknowledgment can go a long way toward rebuilding trust and calming tension.
Why It Matters
When emotions are big, loud, or constant, they tend to take control. Learning to manage them doesn’t mean ignoring them—it means listening to what they’re trying to tell you and responding with intention. Emotions can be helpful backseat drivers, giving feedback and direction, but you’re the one who should stay at the wheel.
If your emotions often feel overwhelming or hard to manage, counseling can help. Our online counseling in Pennsylvania provides tools and support to help you navigate life’s emotional twists and turns with clarity and confidence.
Related Reading
You may also find our post on Freedom from Difficult Emotions helpful—it offers practical ways to move forward when emotions feel heavy or stuck.
About the Author
Katie Bailey, MA, LPC, is the founder and a Licensed Professional Counselor at Lime Tree Counseling in Ambler, Pennsylvania. With more than 20 years of experience, she helps people move from feeling overwhelmed to connected by offering therapy for anxiety, depression, trauma, and relationships. Along with her team of licensed therapists, she provides compassionate, evidence-based counseling to individuals and couples throughout Pennsylvania.
FAQs About Managing Emotions
Why do emotions feel so powerful?
Emotions are connected to survival instincts in the brain. They’re meant to alert and protect us—but when unchecked, they can overreact to stress.
Is it bad to feel strong emotions?
Not at all. Emotions are normal and healthy. The goal isn’t to get rid of them—it’s to keep them from making your decisions for you.
What if I always react before I think?
That’s a sign your emotions may be driving the car. A therapist can help you build tools to pause, reflect, and respond thoughtfully.
Can online counseling really help me manage emotions?
Yes. Online therapy offers practical strategies and emotional support from the comfort of your home, helping you build confidence and control.