You’ve tried everything you can think of to improve your relationship. It’s not helping. You are crushed, exhausted, and don’t know what to do next. You’re losing hope. Your spouse says everything is your fault, so you believe you are worthless, dumb, and useless.
You smile on the outside. You pretend things are okay. Inside, you’re hurting deeply. You’re lonely, confused, and always sad.
You can’t tell anyone else because they won’t understand. They will tell you to just try harder, or say you must be the problem. They haven’t lived in your shoes; they don’t know the pain you carry every single day.
Here’s an important truth: you do matter. You have value. Your thoughts, feelings, and needs matter. We want to help you see yourself as you truly are – a loved, beautiful person made to thrive. We can help you learn how to protect your own heart, and at the same time not tolerate hurtful behavior from your spouse. You can be loving and not passive. True love doesn’t mean giving the other person whatever they want to keep the peace. True love shows kindness and sets limits.
Emotional abuse is not as easily recognized as physical or sexual abuse. For those suffering from the abuse, emotional (also called psychological or verbal) abuse is harder to acknowledge, because there are no outside wounds and it's very subtle. Yet, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as any physical or sexual abuse.
Emotional abuse is when a person tries to control another person through verbal and emotional manipulation. Over time, this abuse chips away at the other person's sense of worth and identity, very often leading to anxiety, depression, and PTSD.
Any relationship can be emotionally abusive, not just marriages. You may be dealing with emotional abuse if someone in your life:
1. Constantly criticizes you and puts you down
2. Blames you for any conflict or tension in the relationship
3. Never truly apologizes
4. Controls your access to finances
5. Issues threats to you or others you love if they don't get what they want
6. Humiliates and shames you
7. Makes efforts to control who you spend time with
8. Making you think you are "crazy" (also called gas lighting)
The most important thing to know is this: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
If you are living in an emotionally abusive relationship, it's absolutely not your fault. Nothing you have done justifies an abuser's behavior. You are responsible for how you respond, which likely requires the help of a qualified professional therapist.
Do you wonder if emotional abuse counseling will help you? Call us today for a free 15 minute consultation. One of our expert therapists will get in touch with you and learn more about your situation. If you're ready, we can get you scheduled for an appointment and start to bring sanity back to your life.
Emotional and verbal abuse are overwhelming. You may be isolated from others, even if you see other people regularly, but have no one in your life who knows what's really going on in your world. If you're scared to tell your story, we understand that fear. You may love the person with the abusive behavior, and are afraid of change. At the same time, you know you can't continue to live this way. At Lime Tree Counseling, we can help you think more clearly through these issues and take steps, at your own pace, toward healing and emotional health.