Picture yourself swimming in the ocean on a hot summer day. You start out right in front of the lifeguard stand, safely between the two green flags. You’re facing the horizon, not paying attention to what’s behind you. Then suddenly, you hear a whistle—the one that warns swimmers who have drifted too far. You turn around and realize the whistle is for you.
That’s what relapse looks like. It doesn’t begin when someone picks up a drink or a drug. It starts long before that, with thoughts and behaviors that quietly pull you away from recovery. Without clear boundaries—your “flags”—you can drift without realizing how far you’ve gone.
So how can you tell if you’re starting to drift?
10 Flags That Warn You of Relapse
1. Defensiveness
How do you respond when someone you trust points out unhealthy habits? Do you listen, or do you get defensive? We all have blind spots, and sometimes the people who care about us see what we can’t.
2. Overconfidence
Telling yourself, “That’ll never happen to me,” can be dangerous. You may have years of sobriety, but recovery requires humility and vigilance. As one AA saying goes, “If you sit in the barbershop long enough, you’ll eventually get a haircut.”
3. Complacency
When life feels stable, it’s easy to lower your guard. You might stop going to meetings or reaching out to your support system. Recovery is strongest when you stay connected and self-aware, even during calm seasons.
4. All-or-Nothing Thinking
Addiction often comes with black-and-white thinking. You might feel like it’s all or nothing—90 meetings in 90 days or none at all. This kind of thinking leaves no room for balance. Healthy recovery allows for flexibility and grace.
5. Not Asking for Help
Convincing yourself that you can stay sober alone is a common warning sign. As the saying goes, “You alone can do it, but you can’t do it alone.” Recovery depends on support—through meetings, sponsors, family, or therapy.
6. Lack of Reflection
If you’ve stopped learning and growing, that’s a red flag. Regular self-reflection helps you notice when old habits or emotions start creeping back in.
7. Replacement Addictions
Sometimes people swap one addiction for another—substances, gambling, food, shopping, or even screens. These behaviors can flood the brain with dopamine, making it harder for your brain and body to heal.
8. Neglecting Self-Care
When you stop caring for yourself, it’s often a sign of trouble ahead. Neglecting hygiene, skipping meals, or ignoring your health can signal that you’re slipping into unhealthy territory.
9. Dishonesty
Relapse often begins with small lies—to others or to yourself. Maybe you downplay your stress or make excuses for skipping meetings. Being honest is key to staying on track.
10. Unresolved Shame
Shame says, “I am bad,” while guilt says, “I did something bad.” The first keeps you stuck. The second helps you change. If you’re hiding parts of your story or avoiding painful memories, shame may still have a hold on you.
Moving Toward Recovery
Recovery isn’t a finish line—it’s an ongoing process. Staying aware of these flags helps you keep your bearings when life’s waves get rough. The goal isn’t perfection but progress: recognizing when you’re drifting and making small corrections before you’re too far from shore.
If you notice some of these signs in yourself, consider addiction counseling with our team here in Ambler, PA. We’ll help you understand what’s fueling your cravings, strengthen your coping skills, and build a recovery plan that supports long-term change.
Related Reading
You may also find our post on Keeping Recovery Strong During the Holidays helpful—it offers practical ways to protect your progress during stressful seasons.
About the Author
Nate Bailey, MA, LPC, is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the Director of Operations at Lime Tree Counseling in Ambler, Pennsylvania. With more than 20 years of counseling experience, he specializes in helping clients overcome addictions, trauma, and anxiety through practical, goal-oriented therapy. Nate uses evidence-based approaches to help individuals experience genuine healing and lasting change across Pennsylvania.
FAQs About Relapse and Recovery
How can I tell if I’m close to relapse?
You may notice subtle shifts—like irritability, isolation, or rationalizing old behaviors. These are early warning signs that you may be drifting away from healthy routines.
What’s the difference between a lapse and a relapse?
A lapse is a brief return to old behavior, while a relapse is a full return to the cycle of use. Recognizing a lapse quickly can prevent a deeper setback.
Why do people relapse after years of sobriety?
Relapse can happen when someone stops maintaining the routines and supports that helped them stay sober. It’s a reminder that recovery is a lifelong process, not a one-time achievement.
How can counseling help me stay in recovery?
Therapy helps you uncover the emotions and triggers behind addictive behaviors, build coping skills, and stay accountable through life’s challenges.