Why Empathy Matters
Empathy—the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings—is at the heart of every healthy relationship. It helps us connect deeply with the people around us, respond with compassion, and handle conflict with more grace.
Think of empathy as emotional perspective-taking. When we can step into another person’s shoes, we’re able to respond in ways that strengthen connection instead of creating distance.
For example, when my young daughter is tired and cranky, she sometimes pushes away my hugs and says, “No hugs now, Mommy.” My empathy helps me remember that sometimes I need space too. Instead of taking it personally, I can respond with, “Okay, honey, I get it.” That small moment of understanding builds trust between us.
Can You Have Too Much Empathy?
Yes—empathy needs boundaries. Understanding someone’s feelings doesn’t mean you’re responsible for fixing them. When empathy goes unchecked, it can turn into over-functioning or people-pleasing. Healthy empathy allows you to care without losing yourself.
Like many traits, empathy exists on a continuum. Some people feel it easily, while others have to work at it—and that’s okay.
Why Some People Struggle with Empathy
Our capacity for empathy comes from both biology and experience. Some people are naturally more attuned to emotions, while others grew up in environments where feelings were ignored or unsafe to express.
Trauma can also impact empathy. When you’ve had overwhelming experiences and shut down your own emotions to cope, it’s harder to recognize and respond to others’ feelings. The good news? Empathy can be strengthened—no matter your starting point.
5 Practical Ways to Boost Empathy
1. Recognize and experience your own emotions.
When we suppress our feelings, we also lose touch with others’. Allow yourself to feel sadness, frustration, or joy instead of stuffing emotions down. Self-awareness is the first step toward understanding others.
2. Try something new.
Learning a new skill—whether guitar, knitting, or running a 5K—teaches humility. Struggling through the learning curve helps us remember what it’s like to be imperfect, just like everyone else.
3. Step into different environments.
Travel is one of the best empathy teachers. It doesn’t have to be across the world—just beyond your routine. Visit a new neighborhood, volunteer at a food bank, or attend a community event outside your comfort zone. Experiencing life from another perspective builds compassion.
4. Observe relationships in stories and shows.
Watch how characters respond to each other. In the first episode of New Girl, the guys rush to rescue Jess when she’s stood up on a date—a simple but powerful example of empathy in action. Pay attention to how understanding someone’s emotions leads to meaningful action.
5. Ask questions—and truly listen.
Be curious about the people around you. Ask open-ended questions like, “What’s been the best part of your week?” or “What was that experience like for you?” Listen not to respond but to understand. Follow up with clarifying questions to go deeper.
For more ways to evaluate the health of your relationships, read our post on how to do a relationship checkup.
Strengthen Empathy and Connection
Empathy helps you love others well—but it’s also what makes relationships feel safe, seen, and genuine. When empathy feels difficult or emotional walls are high, therapy can help you reconnect with yourself and the people who matter most.
At Lime Tree Counseling, our therapists provide marriage counseling in Ambler, PA to help couples and individuals rebuild emotional safety, communicate more effectively, and strengthen empathy.
We also offer trauma therapy, EMDR for unresolved pain, and online counseling for residents across Pennsylvania.
You were made for connection. With the right support, empathy can grow—and your relationships can too.
About the Author
Katie Bailey, MA, LPC, is the founder and a Licensed Professional Counselor at Lime Tree Counseling in Ambler, Pennsylvania. With more than 20 years of experience, she helps people move from feeling overwhelmed to connected by offering therapy for anxiety, depression, trauma, and relationships. Along with her team of licensed therapists, she provides compassionate, evidence-based counseling to individuals and couples throughout Pennsylvania.
FAQs About Empathy and Counseling
Can empathy really be learned?
Yes. Empathy is a skill that can be developed through self-awareness, curiosity, and practice.
What if I care too much about others’ feelings?
That may be a sign of empathy without boundaries. Therapy can help you balance compassion with self-care.
How does marriage counseling help with empathy?
A therapist can help you and your partner learn to listen, validate, and respond to each other’s needs more effectively.
Can therapy help if past trauma makes empathy hard?
Absolutely. Healing past wounds can help you reconnect to your own emotions—and to others—in a healthier way.
Empathy is what turns relationships into real connection. Start small, stay curious, and practice seeing the world through someone else’s eyes.