What is a boundary?
We all understand physical boundaries. Some of us have fences around our yards. We have locks on our doors. We know we can’t just walk into someone else’s house unannounced because it does not belong to us.
We need emotional boundaries, too. Those boundaries are harder to understand since you can’t see them. But they are so very important.
Emotional boundaries allow us to:
1. Take responsibility for our own feelings. If I’m angry at my husband, I need to own that and figure out why. It’s not his job.
2. Let others take responsibility for their own feelings. We don’t have to make everyone happy.
3. Decide how we will allow other people to treat us. If your significant other yells and swears at you when you argue, you do not have to let him/her treat you that way.
Why don’t you set boundaries?
1. You don’t know or value yourself enough.
2. You think other people know better than you do.
3. You are afraid what will happen to the relationship if you set a boundary.
4. You never learned how to set a healthy boundary.