{"id":2551,"date":"2021-07-14T00:01:13","date_gmt":"2021-07-14T00:01:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/limetreecounseling.com\/?p=2551"},"modified":"2022-03-29T15:09:37","modified_gmt":"2022-03-29T15:09:37","slug":"stop-the-comparison-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/limetreecounseling.com\/stop-the-comparison-game\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop the comparison game: there’s no such thing as normal!"},"content":{"rendered":"
By Nathan Bailey, MA, LPC<\/a><\/h6>\n

We often feel that the \u201cdefault\u201d life situation is to be free and clear of all worry, disease, hardship, relationship conflict etc. When we experience these things we add to our pain, frustration and grief by comparing ourselves to others who we \u201cassume\u201d don\u2019t have to experience the same types of challenges.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You’re in good company<\/h2>\n

Everyone has something. That\u2019s right, everyone. No exceptions. They might not have similar challenges now, but it\u2019s unrealistic to think there\u2019s a \u201cnormal\u201d where everything is sunshine and rainbows. We all live through a season(s) of difficulty. Life isn\u2019t perfect and it brings with it times of depression, anxiety, marital discord, chronic pain issues, medical complications and broken friendships. There\u2019s nothing wrong with you, you\u2019re not broken. We all face some combination of these things at some point. Comparing ourselves with others is like kicking ourselves when we\u2019re already down. Like R.E.M. sings \u201ceverybody hurts sometimes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As we live through these types of situations, they don\u2019t have to define us. We can choose not to be controlled by our circumstances.\u00a0 They can become <\/span>part<\/span> of our story, not <\/span>the<\/span> story. We grow, are strengthened and can even learn how much we\u2019re loved from others’ support (don\u2019t worry, they\u2019ll soon need to depend on you at some point in the future).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hard times, times of growth<\/h2>\n

Hard times don\u2019t need to be the focal point of our life. With a change in perspective they can fade to the background. The reality is that we may have to change or adapt our goals, plans and desires (and may need to grieve their loss) because of our experiences\/situations. This isn\u2019t easy by any means, but maybe it leads us to something we\u2019d never considered before. I recently read of a man named Anthony Arvanitakis who was in a tragic accident that eventually led to his losing a leg. As he battled through depression, he found a new niche as a bodyweight trainer, working with people all over the world. He\u2019s gone on to be successful and even publish a book about his experience.\u00a0 Your situation may not be as life-changing as the loss of a leg, but maybe it\u2019s enough where you need to reexamine the way you’re living. The point is, failure to accept the challenges ahead because we\u2019re lamenting that we\u2019re not like everyone else, leaves us stuck and lost. Tragedy is allowing life to slip by because our focus is on what we can\u2019t do or be and why we wish we were in someone else’s situation.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Take action<\/h2>\n

Are you finding yourself pinned down by a hopeless situation? Last week, I wrote about how no matter what the circumstance, we can do something to improve our situation. Maybe it\u2019s just a change of perspective or new skills we can learn from anxiety counseling, trauma therapy or marriage counseling. Maybe it\u2019s making a decision to do something different, set a boundary, or get the medical help we need. It can all start by accepting what\u2019s before us and stop playing the comparison game.<\/span><\/p>\n

What\u2019s stopping us?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Some of the common barriers include denial, minimization or learned helplessness. We might think if we don\u2019t acknowledge the problem, it\u2019ll go away (like burying our head in the sand). For example, we all know the healthcare system isn\u2019t perfect and that it does sometimes feel like a job to get things set up, approved or scheduled. The thought of taking the necessary steps to meet with a doctor or specialist to deal with a medical issue can seem overwhelming and exhausting. This can\u2019t be a reason not to move forward. Get the help and support you need to make this happen. You can<\/span> take action to get the ball rolling and you can<\/span> feel better.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t help to ignore what\u2019s affecting us because we don\u2019t want to be the \u201cneedy one\u201d or the one with all the problems. Again, it\u2019s normal that at some point there\u2019s something we\u2019ll have to work through that\u2019s hard. Accepting it\u2019s at our doorstep allows us to get help, take action, and do the work that\u2019s needed to make positive change.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Let us help you<\/h2>\n

The therapists at Lime Tree Counseling offer a wide-range of services that can help you face the unfaceable. We have specialists that offer grief counseling<\/a>, anxiety counseling, trauma therapy and marriage counseling. We can help with chronic pain, substance use counseling or managing the stress of a difficult work culture. Lime Tree provides online counseling in Pennsylvania and online counseling in Colorado. We want to make it as easy as possible to get the help that you need. Schedule<\/a> with one of our team today and move forward to a better way of life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Nathan Bailey, MA, LPC We often feel that the \u201cdefault\u201d life situation is to be free and clear of all worry, disease, hardship, relationship conflict etc. When we experience these things we add to our pain, frustration and grief by comparing ourselves to others who we \u201cassume\u201d don\u2019t have to experience the same types […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2552,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nStop the comparison game: there's no such thing as normal! - Lime Tree Counseling<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you dealing with something difficult? Do you feel like you're the odd one out? 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